Fenjy Benwick is not creepy

All this Valentine's stuff is actually celebrating a bloke whose head got chopped off for being Catholic years ago, you're aware, right?

It seems odd to celebrate it with pink hearts suddenly, doesn't it?

And now you'll stop, won't you?

Thank you.

[Order.]

Right. Maybe it's a bit early to be thinking about this, but I'd argue it's actually just a little late. You know, don't you, that most of the people who have been attacked were ones who recently said something rude to purists or about purists on the journals. I know we have lists of suspects and all that, but I think we need a list of the people who are most likely to become targets too, and talk to them before it goes too far.

Because I don't want this to happen again, I don't know about all of you. And I know we can't prevent everything, but honestly, we could at least help with wards and make sure they were always with someone else, even in secret, until the heat is turned on someone else. I know we have jobs and lives, but this is our job too, and I'd be willing to sacrifice sleep for it.

[End Ward]

[Marlene]

I'm keeping an eye on Robbie when you can't, so I want you to eat and sleep on a semi normal schedule, okay? Okay.
[End Ward]

[Order]

I want to know if everyone's okay and those at the safehouse still, is there anything you need me or anyone to tell your bosses, family, friends or get something from your house? Because I was just thinking. It's well and good to have a safehouse, but disappearing from everyone for any period of time has got to strike the world as well strange. I could steal grab some Mungo's work excuses and change the stationary. I know where the supply closet is, and that would cover us there, if Charlotte's willing to sign them and testify.

I mean that's just an idea.

Also please don't eat the stuff in the refrigerator that looks green, it needs to be chilled for my next batch of burn salve.

It was my birthday two days ago, and I only remembered now. Literally. And it's my twenty-fifth which means I'm officially a quarter of a century old now. I am either growing senile or turning into Rosie in my old age. But thank you for the half-cake I didn't know why I was getting, St. Mungo's. I realise why now. But I really do feel old. I'm going out tonight in remembrance of it, and you can come with me, anyone. But since it's my birthday you'll have to come to Ireland.

[Warded to Marlene McKinnon]
If you or your brother aren't ok, let me know if there's anything I can do, yeah? This threat stuff is awfully stupid.
[End Ward]

[Warded to the Order]
Are there any added security measures to take now that the Death Eaters have felt it necessary to ruin Christmas? That was a serious question. As much as I don't fancy actually sitting round people's windows on the holiday making sure they're not getting attacked. They wouldn't do that, right?

I'm boycotting the ballet too.
Unnatural use of large dolls. It's like puppets, nutcrackers aren't supposed to talk or move, and when they do, it's well creepy. Doesn't anyone see the truth?

[Warded to the Order]

While we're talking shop, I just thought I should probably let you lot know that Henchley's gone. He just left, out of the blue. It was odd. I can't find a reason for it. Not that I'm not happy, of course. But the really odd part is that Dinah Turpin said that someone is coming to replace him. She didn't know any names, but apparently it was someone who used to work for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures committee. Now really, I think it's odd that they'd choose someone like that for a hospital of all places. We tend to get a bad reputation for disposing of people we're supposed to cure. Anyway, it struck me as a little ominous and a lot odd, so there you are.

[End Ward]

You know. I did say I didn't like museums and usually I don't, but I think I'm going to go this week. Heath Turpin has inspired me. He runs the museum's public relations, I found out the other day. So you should go to the purism exhibit that shows how inclusive and welcoming they are, too. I think that's what he said it was about. I honestly don't pay attention often. Something to work on.

Anyway, I didn't go to that play last night, but it sounds exciting too. I hope you lot who did attend had loads of fun.

I wonder what the next themed week will be...

I'm sort of fed up with everyone being surprised when they catch Dragon Pox when they insist on doing stupid things like shaking hands and not washing them or kissing strangers. Not that washing hands is necessary every single time but if you know the person has the pox, it is. Oh yes, I've seen that too. So as a quick guide: don't share cups. Don't kiss anyone. Don't hold hands. Don't have fun. Eat your vegetables. It's all true. Anyway, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take this opportunity to go against the Daily Prophet.

Dragon pox, as a whole, is not going away any time soon. The outbreak hasn't decreased by much and if you start going lax now, you're kind of an idiot.
I'm sure they just wanted a window for a new story, but seriously, don't buy into it.

If you do get it, though, as always, COME TO ST.MUNGO'S. Okay, I'm done preaching now.

I discovered that the dragon in London the other week wasn't an actual dragon. Or rather, the Red Dragon Chinese Restaurant doesn't have a dragon in its kitchen. Which is kind of a sad misnomer because I was getting a bit excited about catching it. Oh well. There are three other dragon themed eateries in London and I'd like to hit them all up just in case.

[Order]

Is Fenrir Greyback our jurisdiction since he's a werewolf? Or do you think he's actually a dark-wizard-employed werewolf?
Do they have those?

I really don't mind the choice of Minister. I guess Flint was a very logical one. But I think it would have been really interesting to see what exactly Crook did with the office. We're probably in safe hands either way, yeah? What an exciting time in history. And to think it's mostly marked by owl excrement and mint. Huh.

A peace rally that actually managed to stay peaceful, somehow.
And now I've seen it all.

Whoever started this string of dragonpox: hide. I'm going to kill you.

That's all.

When I close my eyes, I see the dragon pox remedy and I never want to smell mint again. That being said, it's very effective, so if you happen to be all spotty and green, I'll sell you a large supply at an only slightly elevated price. Just kidding, if you go to St. Mungo's, we'll just put it on your bill. Not that this isn't a slightly elevated way to do things either, but whatever.
Anyway, I saw those fireworks in the news. A bit weird, having vigilantes watching us over our shoulders. I keep looking to see if they're there, but so far I've just had a few people look at me oddly because they thought I was stalking THEM. This is complicated.

[Warded to the Order (WORDER?)]

I'd like to know what we know about Ralph Henchley. He's apparently gone a bit off the deep end with the potions thievery. He's taken to asking Healers and volunteers to prove that they haven't been stealing things while they're practising medicine. There isn't anything else missing from my own stores, though I can't speak for locked cabinets I don't have keys for. I'd like to know what he could possibly have to gain by this. Anything? Is there a possibility he's hiding his own habit, which wouldn't be quite as big a worry as getting Peakes sacked and then taking over. Which is of course what's probably happening. But you never know.
[End Wards]

Muggles are brilliant. I studied pepper spray and that helped a lot. Once I put a weak semi-acidic potion that causes boils in an oil based mixture instead of a water one and messed around a little with the "heat" content of a few peppers (and burned my hands a little in process, but that's all right,)I got the perfect mixture.
I am now carrying around the Spray and if you'd like some for self defense I'll give it out. I mean it isn't patented yet or anything so I can't promise its full safety, but I've tested it on myself and I'm still standing. I wouldn't reccommend using it for the fun of it because the boils aren't exactly great and neither is the itching and melting sensation, but it's easily curable.

Maybe I should get it patented first.

As a potions maker at St. Mungo's, I think it's appropriate for me to address the recent issue of theft. I have redone my entire inventory and indeed, certain potions seem to be missing. We at the potions department are taking this very seriously and installing more secure wards around our items, since really who knows who is taking it. I for one will be keeping a closer eye on my colleagues as well. If anyone has any information as to who's taking these, please do let us know.

I've been inspired. I've been staying all day in the St. Mungo's laboratories, using their supplies. And I think it's actually going really well! I mean this is basically just a note saying that if anyone needs me, I'll be in the hospital til the end of time or until I figure out how to make acid spray. Yes, that's right. A recent attempt at defense inspired me to bottle small amounts of semi-hazardous liquid for personal use by the innocent people . The only thing is, I can't make acid weak enough. I mean I'm trying, but either it melts the surface right away or it doesn't melt it at all. And I'm trying to get some of the pepper idea, too, so it stings before the real damage starts. Just to make that interesting. And I mean, I suppose I'll have to get this all approved by the ministry's health regulations. HOPEFULLY that will work out for the best.
And then I'll start giving out samples before wholesale. I really don't want to profit off the attacks or anything.
I'll still save that for the hangover potions. Or maybe more quickly-acting sobering potions.
This has opened up a whole new world for me. But one thing at a time, yes.

[Order]

Am I too hasty in saying that two after-pub related incidents could be indicative of a pattern? Tinworth and young drunk girls seems to be a thing lately. Do you think perhaps we should increase pub patrolling? Is that worth it? Because if it is, it could be relatively easy to hang out in bars every night without anyone thinking differently of it. I mean, I guess it's just as likely that they're getting people at their most vulnerable, so I suppose we should guard beds, loos, and showers as well if we were to do this right. If only, yeah?

So now we can't trust our farm animals, our homes, or our loos. Is the death eaters' new strategy to frighten us away from the things we need to survive? If my lunch bites my nose off I'll know who to blame. Real brilliance, it is.

[Order]

April Frobisher was attacked in a loo by a death eater. She didn't get a look at the face. I'll be keeping an eye on her. She's staying here for a bit. Just so you all know.

Jokes are in style now, yeah?
I'll be racist against my own species for a change.
This really happened, by the way.



'Adolf Hitler drives down this road every night at 9.15 pm,' said Casey the commando. 'We'll catch him in cross-fire and blow the devil's brains out.'

'Right,' said Murphy.

'Make no mistakes. Pour in the bullets and riddle his evil carcass. Rip him to shreds,' added Casey.

'Right,' said Murphy.

There they lay, the two intrepid Kerrymen. Nine o'clock, 9.15, 9.30 - still no Hitler.

'He's awful late,' said Casey. 'I hope nothing's happened to him!'

( [Warded Private] )

I'm going home tonight by 7pm because the hospital told me it doesn't have it in the budget to pay me any more overtime. At approximately 8pm, I'll be visiting the overworked and delivering invigoration potion-laced hot chocolate which is, I promise, the best thing. If your office has deserved this, it's all courtesy of St. Mungo's yours. Emme, I'll be visiting you first, you crazy person you.

I have made more burn paste in the last 18 hours than anyone should actually have supplies for. It's all right though. As others have said, I think you should probably come to the hospital if you're sick or hurt. Did you know that smoke inhalation causes more damage than actual being burned? So unless you remembered a bubblehead charm yesterday, please come in to get that cleared out. Right.

I don't have to reiterate that whoever did this ought to be ashamed of themselves. I've patched up children and mothers tonight who didn't know how they got hurt in the first place.


At least this would never have happened in Ireland. You can't transfigure cabbage into tigers very easily.